Been here before...

It seems every year at this time (my birthday) I start a blog or journal or something with a commitment to doing a hundred things to be a better me....namely losing the extra pounds. Well, here I am again another year older and ready to commit to being a better me and losing the extra pounds.... Wow!!!! Deja Vue....

This time is different though, something feels different...

Last week (Tuesday) I saw Karen for the first time by myself... wonderful visit, started opening up some of what I thought was well hidden wounds. It is a process and with her, Tiff and Joyce Meyer ;-) I am making progress.

My birthday was Friday and what a wonderful day it was. My boy woke me up eager to be the first to wish me happy birthday and there truly is nothing sweeter. :-) I had lunch with my honey, sat by the pool and just relaxed ( new concept for me).

Every year Tiff challenges herself to give me the perfect gift. Let me say I didn't think she could top last years when she gave me a framing of pictures of Raiden from the ages of birth to 4 as these were the only years I was not a part of his life.... I cried for hours and even today I look at those pictures everyday.. Well she did top herself this year with a poem that is timeless, authentic, romantic, sincere and I could go on but I think you get the picture. I haven't shared it with anyone yet... I just want to keep it to myself for awhile... it is the single most precious words I've ever received.

So now to the commitment.. I do feel different this year. I'm ready to grow, learn and endure whatever it takes... pain and all... to be the best me I can be and I've already started the journey. It has been a good year of spiritual growth for me and I haven't felt so many emotions since my Mom died 16 years ago and now that the flood gates are open I'm going for the ride. I look forward to many more happier years and I'm excited about the journey... not something I'm used to saying or thinking.

I am blessed beyond comprehension... a wonderful family, a community of friends, neighbors, church and above all a faith that keeps growing as I continue to let my leader guide me to a better me.